My Beef with Korea

There have been reports in the news, as of late, about major protests in South Korea. No, these protests were not in reference to the crazy, communist dictator directly to their north. The protests were not about world peace or civil rights. They were not about the plight of the poor or about the sovereignty of the Tibet Autonomous Region. The protests were about the country resuming imports of beef from the United States of America.

Tens of thousands of Koreans took to the streets over American beef. Not because of how the cattle are raised or ultimately are slaughtered. No, my friends… the Koreans are concerned about mad cow disease.

After President Lee Myung-bak suggested resuming the importation of all U.S. beef, the people went ape-shit. As a result, his entire cabinet offered to resign if it would defuse the public’s anger and end their chants that the president should step-down. To further placate the citizenry, President Lee Myung-bak vowed to not import any beef from cattle from the U.S. that is over 30 month of age (…subject to the United States’ voluntary cooperation.) I’ve got a better idea.

How about this: So as to not force feed the South Koreans any of our “tainted” cows that have probably been raised in better conditions than many of their northern neighbors, I think the U.S. should halt all export of beef to South Korea. Let them go back to eating meat from cats and dogs. I’m sure nobody will get sick eating rats. Maybe they can increase the order for avian flu chickens from Vietnam.

There are plenty of countries that would not mind eating American beef. Better yet, with an over-abundance of beef, maybe us hard working Americans can start seeing some lower meat prices. I, for one, won’t mind the burden of reducing our beef inventory.

“I’ll take one quarter pound hamburger, with cheese… and hold the Mexican salmonella tomatoes, please.”