It Cannot Be Stopped with Conventional Weapons…

(Load-up the Nerf Gun)

I haven’t been to the cinema in about a month. This is unusual for me because I’ve been known to routinely see two or three movies a week. Some that I’d like to see are: There Will Be Blood and No Country for Old Men… but the one I’d really like to see on the big screen is Cloverfield.

Despite the filmmaker’s best efforts, I have heard that Cloverfield is basically Godzilla meets the Blair Witch… a monster movie with shaky, hand-held, camera work. Sounds great, right? I know! For some strange reason, however, the powers that be decided to keep the details on the down-low. So much so, they named the movie Cloverfield. So now the creature is known as the Cloverfield Monster. Inspires fear, right?

When I first heard the name of the flick, I thought it might have been a movie about a pink, winged unicorn… or a community of orphaned baby dolls. I mean, seriously… they couldn’t come up with anything better than Cloverfield?

Well, whatever the reason, the name seems to be working for them. Bearing that in mind, I came up with some names for possible sequels:

• The Daisypatch Beast
• The Grassymeadow Behemoth
• The Babblingbrook Leviathan
• The Willowthicket Miscreation
• The Appleorchard Big Slimy Thing

I heard, in order to amp-up the fearsomeness, they briefly considered calling the movie Dangerfield… only they were concerned that the monster wouldn’t get any respect.