My inclination is to focus on one potential girlfriend at a time. I just don’t have the time management skills to juggle relationships. Also, I have a strong sense of guilt. Even after going on only one date with someone, it is hard for me to even look in the direction of another gal.
My friends think there is something wrong with me. The advice I am getting is to go out with as many women as possible, don’t burn any bridges, and don’t over-commit to any one lady. As I listen, I think about plate spinners. You know those guys that spin plates on the end of poles? They get one going, then another, until they have like twenty plates spinning away. Their attention jumps around to which ever plate begins to wobble. The plates survive. The crowd cheers. The curtains close.
Then I consider how well I would do at plate spinning, given my current level of tableware spinning experience. Let’s just say, the janitorial staff of the theatre would not be too pleased. Frankly, it would be a struggle for me to even get one plate going for more than a few seconds.
I guess the thought is that I need to build my experience; work on my dating skills. But I don’t want
dating skills. Dating, for me, is not fun. It is painful. It is taxing. It is confusing. I don’t want to be a professional dater. I don’t even want to be an amateur dater. I would love to be a former dater. Unfortunately, it would seem that I’ll first have to break a few dishes… or maybe, more accurately, find a lady plate spinner who has the patience to attempt balancing my battered, cracked, and chipped plate. She would have to be very skilled, indeed. Or, she could cheat by gimmicking my plate. Either way, I’m not picky.